when it doesn't fit...

Make it.

I was attempting to clean my closet earlier this week and came across this gorgeous top, all velvet and canvas with boning. The last time I wore it was in September 2006.

When I was finished getting ready Friday night, I asked my brother to zip me up. I was used to the zipper acting up, so it didn't surprise me when he couldn't zip it up at first. I explained to him that he had to bring the top two pieces together with one hand and zip with the other, while I pulled down at the bottom; quite a lot of work, actually. After all attempts to break my ribs failed, my brother told me he was sure the top had shrunk. (This is a fabrication invented by the author to protect all people in the story; in reality, my brother giggled and informed me that I had "got fat.")

Apparently, a lot can change in 4 years.

As you know (because I've told you), I don't have a lot of money (because I spend it all on clothes that don't fit me). My clothes are my investment, and as such, I refuse to not be able to wear them.

While trying to solve The Mystery of How My Back Expanded By Four Inches, I noticed that the back almost looked as if it were meant to be open. I folded the zippered edges inward, and voila! Sexy back. (Meaning a variety of things, but mostly that exposed back is sexy.) I think the only reason this worked is because the fabric is so stiff.

The front of the tube top is meant to have a straight edge and looks just fine that way, but since I'm currently obsessed with creating a dip in all of my things, I once again pinned the middle downward.

Honestly, I'm amazed my clothes don't just fall off or evaporate while I'm out, what with all these folds and safety pins.

Top: $10, Buffalo Exchange
Skirt: $20 (58), Urban Outfitters
Convertible Clutch/Purse/Wrislet: $110 (258), Coach, Macy's

the altered outfit

While visiting friends in Chicago last March, I was left to my own devices while they were at work. Usually (always), "my own devices" means "shopping." After purchasing a pink tulip skirt from H&M that was a size 10, my friend handed me one of her money-saving, advice-giving books, casually mentioning that I should read the passage specifying that one should never buy clothes that don't fit.

Point taken. Just because I was on vacation didn't mean I should pay full price for something. I returned the skirt, and then bought a Michelle Obama-worthy vintage dress (just wait 'till I put pictures up of this Sweet Thing) from Buffalo that didn't fit me any better, but was much cheaper and much more original. (Here, "cheap & original" means "I have to have it." Actually, doesn't it always mean that?)

With a lot of things at H&M, FP and F21 (for example), I think that you can get away with a range of sizes. That being said, if something looks as if it has no potential on you, and there's no way you're going to be able to play with it, don't get it. You know best. If it's something that needs to be altered and you know that's something you'll never get to, don't get it. If you do plan on having it altered, factor that into the price. (Bonus: If you can somehow alter the look without actually getting it altered, you get to spend the money you would have spent on alterations on a pedicure. You may also collect $200 after passing GO.)

The top in this photo is an L and I normally wear an S. (Mostly I wanted it because it was $30 marked down from $150; I know I'm not the only person who gets excited about things like that). Obviously flowy is easier to work with in size differentiations, but that doesn't change the fact that Oops, My Bra is Highly, Highly Visible. Wearing a statement bra in this case turns that "Oops..." into "Look!" (The bra selection at Ross, I'm fairly certain, is based on this idea; mine, Calvin Klein, was $9 there.)

The top also lends itself to funky; paired with a loud pair of bright wedges (here I'm wearing the greatest shoes ever), cut offs and a Pirate's Chest of rings and bracelets, I still think it would look fantastic. I also wore a headband across my forehead to bring out the hippie-ness of the vest.

Top: $30, Nordstrom Rack
Vest: $30, F21
Shoes: $89 (129), Jessica Simpson, Nordstrom
Jeans: $20 (70) BDG, Urban Outfitters